Why Fat Isn’t Just Okay When It’s Stylish
This is something I wrote on my (pretty much failed) wordpress blog about a year ago. I went back to read it, and, not gonna lie, I’m pretty impressed. I’m re-posting here to give this a bit of visibility (and, y’know, vanity). I hope you all enjoy, and please, feel free to comment with any and all opinions.
So, I have this really great friend– like, pretty much a bestie friend—who’s discovered my tumblr recently. She doesn’t quite agree with the whole “embracing fat” concept, so it’s sparked some nice debates.
**Note: Now, before I go on let me make something clear, I mean it when I say nice debates. I like a good debate. Hell, I kind of like to argue. I’m quite good at it. I can relate to this friend on so many different levels and understand what she’s saying, so I especially like debating with her. Yeah, our views are different, but she’s still one of my besties. My point (besides making it clear to my friend if she happens to read this) is if you don’t quite buy into the size acceptance movement that is your own prerogative completely. It’s obviously quite important to me, but I’m not about to get offended by a good friend’s words that mean no harm.**
Okay, back to what I’m actually trying to say here. Among the points J made, she’s suggested that the kind of stuff I post, and the general idea of my fat acceptance, is only supportive of fat if it’s fashionable. Or if the women are laid out burlesque style. Basically, that I’m all “fat’s great!”, but only if this particular fat is conventionally pretty.
Because I am perpetually in my head, what she said really made me think. Why are the large majority of pictures I post of fat, but conventionally pretty women? Would I like fat if you took away all the clothing, the styling, the photography? And what about all these other 20 something fabulous fat women who I constantly re-blog, who post pretty much the same shit? So, now I’m asking myself and the entire FA community and everyone involved in the movement.
**EDIT: When those participating in the online FA community look at themselves critically, I’ve learned this is a question that’s often asked.**
And do you know what I realize? That I can’t speak for them. Frankly, I can barely articulate the thoughts from my head to my laptop’s word document to speak for myself. I’m human, and I’m flawed. I’m not always 100% accepting. I don’t look at every picture of a naked plus size girl and go, “holy fuck she’s gorgeous”. I don’t do that with clothed women either. But that doesn’t mean it’s only about fashion and style for me.
I believe that true beauty transcends what you’re wearing. It goes beyond body type, or the way one portrays themselves to the outside world. I embrace all fat because I know how long it took me to embrace my own. I know what others put me through and what I put myself through because I was constantly told that I didn’t deserve to be given the same amount of consideration as my thin counterparts. Fuck, I’m still told that, just in more subtle ways.
Yeah, I might be considered conventionally pretty. I’ve always been told “you have such a pretty face…” and all that jazz. I’m a fucking girly girl to the max. I like pretty clothes, shoes, and accessories. I like how they make me feel, and how they look. I like that I can express my creativity in the way I dress. I like that I can inspire others in the way I carry myself. But that’s not all fat acceptance and activism is about to me. Just like any other “radical” political belief I have, it stems from a place deep inside me that knows something just isn’t right.
Moral of all this:
You are beautiful. Your fat is beautiful. No matter where that fat sits (or doesn’t sit) on your body. No matter what color skin you have. No matter what your face looks like. No matter what you’re wearing. Whether you wear makeup or not. You get one life, so why not live it loving yourself?